This was a poem that I wrote for my Creative Writing class and it's pretty much the only one out of 5 that I'm really geeked about. I've decided that writing poetry is just not my thing...I think I'm better with lyrics. Who knows...regardlesss, here is the peom.

Streets

Somewhere in the fragments of the Mind

Lost.
A four letter word
Existing only from an absence
Lost.
No where to go
Wandering feet lead astray to these familiar streets
Lost.
Longing to go back to everything comfortable, secure, understood
I’m searching through this distance
Lost.
Pleading for some resolution
In this tangled web of confusion
Lost.

But I can’t find the answer
There’s no voice in this darkness.
Silence.

Fear.
A four letter word
Existing only from an absence
Fear.
No where to go
Except these familiar streets once again
Fear.
Longing to go back to everything comfortable, secure, understood
I’m clinging to the past
Fear.
Screaming for protection
From this terrifying darkness
Fear.

This crippling disease
Leads me to my knees
on these memorized streets.
I hear an answer
A voice cries out in the darkness.
Listen.

Find Me in the shadows of your Heart

Corner.

I told myself this is all a bad dream
it will all soon be over
Pull the covers over your face again
it will all dissappear

But memories circle in my head
repeating what was said
So I stumble out of bed
and wish it all would end

I've told myself this is all about me
you're just not good enough
Look at the figure staring back at you
it was all because of you

And memories circle in my head
reminding me what I said
So I crumple to the ground
fighting accusations in my head

If only you were prettier, skinnier
If only you were just like her
If only you were greater at, more like that
If only you had said those words

If only, if only ( x)

Yeah the memories circle in my head
repeating what went wrong
Oh my heart is screaming
if only you could just go back

I've told myself all of these wasted things
would make my dreams come true
But I've painted myself into a pretty little black and wasted
Corner.

In You

Its in You that I find rest
In Your arms I find comfort
In Your faithfulness I find true joy

And even though I can not see
Where you are taking me
Or understand why this was meant to be

I will cling to your promises and stay in your arms
Because it's in you that I find rest
In your arms that I find comfort
And in your faithfulness that I find joy

Only One

I want to be strong
So strong
Strong for me, strong for them

But I'm weak and I'm tired
Tired of trying to make it all on my own
Because I can't

I don't know why I try
Try to make it all on my own
Because I need you, and always will

You're my strength, my rock, my redeemer
My hope, my joy, my song
My first love

So tonight I'm falling
Falling on my knees
Because you're the only one who truly sees

Desperately

I'm desperately praying
Desperately praying for Your peace
I'm desperately seeking
Desperately seeking your face

I know you're here
Here holding my hand
But I'm desperately wanting
Desperately wanting things to stop spinning
Spinning out of control

Let the water fall over my face

Clear everything in this space


I want to find my place

but i'm just so lost in this space

... To be continued ... song?

Another song starter...

You, You are all I want
You are all I need
You are all my heart desires...

*I even have a tune to this...

Something True

I wish things didn't have to be like so
Just so ya know
But every thing's been changed and rearranged
and I'm left to sort this all through
wishing it all wasn't true

Whispers in the rain

There's always something beautiful about a storm
It's in the calmness before the storm
It's in the lightning flashes and the rolls of thunder
It's in the cool misty breeze and the splashing drops
It's in the gentle whispers of the rain

Something about it captivates me
Holding my attention
Maybe it's You

It's in the calmness that I sense you awakening me to change
It's in the lightning flashes and the rolls of thunder that I feel Your power taking me over
It's in the cool misty breeze and the splashing drops that I feel you refreshing me, cleansing me
And it's in the gentle whispers of the rain that I hear your voice
Guiding me, comforting me, protecting me

Something beautiful
It is You
Only You

Letting you Go... part 2

You're gone now,
Still but ever so peaceful.

Those distant eyes,
now closed forever to this world.

I'll remember you always,
and cherish our precious memories
for a life time.

But for now, I'm letting you go,
into the hands that love you more,
until it's my turn to go,
and I get to hold you once more.

I'll Never Be the Girl...

I'll never be the girl who always has her toenails painted a different color for every occasion
I'll never be the girl who has an endless supply of accessories
I'll never be the girl with all the name brands
And I'll never be the girl with flawless skin or hair that always looks perfect

But I will be the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve
Who loves with her whole heart
Who puts others first
Who sees with another set of eyes
And who Christ shines through and through

I wrote this poem as not only a reminder of who I am and what I am not(because sometimes I get a little bit off focus), but also as a commitment to myself. Sometimes as girls we can focus so much on the outward appearance that we lose focus on what really matters: the inside. As a woman of God, I want and am committed to letting Christ transform me inside and out. So while there are days that it would be nice to have that perfect accessory or flawless skin, I want to be the girl who lets her beauty come from the inside first.

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder about the universe;
How it can be so big, but me so small.

Sometimes I wonder about the world;
How it was created by only two hands.

Sometimes I wonder about the heavens;
How every night the stars always shine
And radiant colors fill the sky.

Sometimes I wonder about the creatures of
Land, sea, and sky;
And how you created them all so unique in design.

Sometimes I wonder about you and me;
How despite all we’ve done,
We have been set free.

Just Dreamin'

What are dreams, dreams like these
Are they too good to be true, a fairytale in my mind
A minds escape or something even greater
Or is this truly You,
A piece of Your mind

All Things Red

Why do I fret like this,
letting everything consume me like a fire?

I remember the all too pleasant past,
shattered for the future.

Stop you fretting; I have a plan You say.
A plan more beautiful than compare.

Just wait. Hold my hand. Cling on tight.
It's going to be a bumpy ride, but its worth the wait.

Letting You Go

For my little Shelly-bell ~

I've done all I can do,
and this time I swear I've tried.
But there's just nothing else I can do for you...

I wish I could do more,
to hold onto you more.
Just something...
But I guess I just have to let you go,
into the hands that love you more.

So for now I will just hold you tight,
and cherish every little moment,
until it's your time to go...

Just When I Think

Just when I think my life is crazy or spinning upside down
Just when I think I've been pushed to my limit and I can take it no longer
Just when I think I've faced it all
Just when I feel like no one knows what I am going through
Thats when You find me
Your life is not spinning out of control,
It is in my hands
Don't push yourself any longer, I'm taking over
You're not alone. Take my hand. The storm will soon be over.


I don't really know where this came from, but it just popped into my head somehow...

Song Starters and Mini Randoms

1. Here I am, here I go

2. There are day like these when I don't know what to do,
And everything I do just seems to go so wrong.

But then I remember I am in your hands
I've got to learn to let go.

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel, like I am running out of time

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel like I am dying inside

Brainstorming: Complicated, rejected, unprotected,disconnected, unprepared, so scared, thoughtless, awful, pitiful, uptight shut tight, undeserving, so unnerving, desperate, needed

3. You know you need me, I know you do
I want to be there for you, I really do
But somewhere deep, there's still me
A me that can't be free till you let go.

4. The sun is shining down on me

5. Oh how I love my amazing God!
So amazing, so mysterious,
So awesome and mighty is He!

Broken

Broken I come to you full of sorrow, hopelessness, despair
Broken I come to you full of hatred, bitterness, shame
I run to you when I am empty
I run to you when there are no words to speak
I turn to you, you're my abba
I turn to you, you're my healer
Transform me, heal me, change me
Heal the brokenness and bring new life where there is now death
I cling to you
Rescue me
Carry me
Lead me, I will follow
Heal me oh Lord, I need you

...But maybe being broken isn't a bad thing
It makes you cling to the things that are most important...
...It forces you to sacrifice, forgive, and love like you've never loved before

Upside Down

You know you're doing something right,
when everything starts to go a little upside down...

Things don't go as planned, and life gets in the way...

But just wait. Don't fret. God has a plan.
You'll see...

I wrote this just the other day after I had my very first ketchup bath :)
The whole story is on my blog if you want a full explanation.

A Piece of Something

Oddly enough, this is the introduction and conclusion of a research paper on dating that I wrote in high school. I guess I just like it a lot because it tells a little about my past and gives a glimpse into the future...well in a way. I really can't predict or know the future. Only the big man upstairs can :) I just have to wait.

Intro

My heart beat so fast at that moment that I thought it would burst. The childhood dream that seemed like so long ago finally came to reality. As I walked down the aisle, realization struck me. I was what some would call one of those lucky ones; someone who found love without too much pain, unlike most of the seekers. My story compares to that of a rare gem that although hard to find, once found, it brings great delight. Most choose to seek the first available find, sacrificing who they are to fill the gap of pain, only to discover that in doing so they created more pain. My story began the same way as that of the many teenagers around me. Unbeknownst to me however, I didn't realize that I would feel very different and imperfect in the upcoming future. I watched with disappointment, as many of my friends began to date, while I continued to sit on the sideline. I felt forgotten and I questioned my appearance and wondered if I had just simply imagined my beauty. What I didn't realize was the fact that it was acceptable for me not to date. In fact, hard as it seemed at the time, I benefited from not dating. It seems to me that in our culture, dating has escalated into a social disorder. Although the idea of dating isn't wrong, the precautions to this big decision continuously become buried, often leaving the concepts of motives and standards behind, which in turn can cause unwanted emotions, circumstances, and unhealthy relationships.

Conclusion

Finally, one more step and I would reach the alter. Eyes scanning the area around me, I searched for the confidence to take the last step. What I saw didn't surprise me. The many faces that I knew and loved gleamed back, glistening with tears of happiness, giving me the confidence I needed to take that last step away from my beloved father, who loved me so much. I finally did take that last step, knowing with my whole heart that this man, whom I had only known for what seemed so short of a time, was perfect for me. I had no regrets, no worries, and no fears. I had waited.

Flowing Verses

I created these poems in high school, but I still get goose bumps when I read them. Sometimes I actually question who wrote them...

ONLY YOU

I try to fill the gap inside,
With all that the world can provide.
But only You can fill my heart,
And ease the pain I feel inside.

When everything seems to fall apart,
And I don't know where to start.
I try to cover up my fear,
But only You can calm my heart.

Somewhere in the distance I can hear,
Your still small voice so loud and clear.
All at once my fears release,
For now I know that You are near.

Though trials in life will yet increase,
And storm winds may never cease,
You will remain my hope and peace.
Always remain my hope and peace.

DARE

This is His letter to the world-
For only us to share
What good is it to Say you’re His-
If you will never Dare?
This is your letter to the World-
But only if you Care
The whole World may one day know-
If you will Dream to Dare

*This poem is just random (from high school too)...but I'm still deciding if I like it or if it even makes sense...

She wasn't popular
She wasn't rich
The only thing she had to give was a promise and a wish

A wish of true beauty
A promise of true love
A gift that is only found if you look inside and above

For if you find true beauty a gift will be found
The gift to be found is the gift of true love

She is beautiful
She is loved
The only thing she did was to search inside and above

You are beautiful
You are loved
The only thing you must do is search inside and above

Just Some Tunes

These are a couple songs I wrote a while ago. Although I have melodies to both of them, I haven't had the time to actually make a music score and *sigh* I don't play the instruments that I want in the accompaniment. Hopefully, someday these will be more than just words on a page. But for now, you can dream about what they sound like :) Actually, if you ask, I might be able to sing them for you...

MY GOD

* Song starts out with slower version of chorus with optional instrumental

My God you are so wonderful
My God you are so good
My God you are so faithful
I love you
I love you

* Instrumental ~ Sax, Piano, Violin, Flute, Guitar
Melody Line

Chorus:

My God you are so wonderful
My God you are so good
My God you are so faithful
I love you
I love you

There may be times when I feel so all alone
There may be times when I'm so scared
There may be times when I feel all I can do,
Is run away from everyone

There may be times when I feel so desolate
There may be times when I'm desperate
There may be times when I feel all I can do,
Is run into your arms

Chorus

Because you are wonderful
You are so good
You are faithful

I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you Abba
I love you Father

* Chorus ~ Slow Like Beginning

Now I must tell you of how this song all came about. It's key to the song. It all started in the bathroom; yes in the bathroom :). Somtimes if you are a musical person you sing in the bathroom and hope that no one comes in lol...but in this case I was all alone and I just started singing. Usually the words never make sence together, but this time they did and they came together in the form of a praise to my heavenly father. After that day I somehow actually had memorized the tune and the words,which,believe me is rare, and I started to sing it to my heavenly Father all the time whenever I felt the words(just the chorus at that point). It was kinda like praying, only with song, and it was beautiful. It was like my own little language with my heavenly daddy, and everytime I sang it, more words just came to me as I felt them,and thats how the story goes :)

I WILL WORSHIP YOU

Minute by minute
Hour by hour
Day by day
I will worship You
I'll praise Your name
Week by week
Month by month
Year by year
I will worship You
I'll praise Your name

You show me how to live my life
According to your word
You gave you life up for me
So I will live my life for you

Chorus

But I need you Lord with all my heart
I lift you up and call Your name
I need Your guidance in my life
You give my strength and joy for the good

Chorus 2x ~ Key change for the second x

I need You Lord with all my heart
I lift You up and call Your name
You gave your life up for me
So I will do the same

Chorus

I will worship You
Oooh praise You
Minute by Minute
Year by year
I'll praise Your name
I will worship You